Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What I have learned from carrying twins.

Going into my second pregnancy I thought it was going to be no big deal. I figured it would pass much like they say second pregnancies pass: not as much attention as the first. But when we found out we were having twins everything changed and it's almost like a new pregnancy again. Reading books on twin pregnancies doing research on twins and just overall learning about twins so much. I've learned more than I even thought existed about twins and that's not a bad thing just nothing I ever imagined I'd be doing. It's been quite the roller coaster of "really!?" to "how exciting" to "this is something special and unique" back to "why?!" I started this post months ago and have just been adding to it as things come to mind.
dramatic lighting belly-10a
{photo taken at 36w5d}

  • to the world, there are only two types of twins; identical and fraternal.  And people really don't even know what this means.

    There are two types of twins, identical and fraternal, but that just refers to their zygosity. There are in fact three different ways to carry twins which I mentioned in a previous post.
  • people are so excited about twins. Most of these people being ones that have never had twins or had to carry them in their own body.

    I've learned about a phrase called twinism which means focusing on the cutesy part of twins versus them actually being individual people. Which is partly one of the reasons I was so excited when we thought we were having a boy and a girl. I was looking forward to them having their own identity and whenever that's different genders it's easier for the outside world (in my opinion) to oblige. Since there now the same gender I feel like it's going to be a little harder for the outside world to see them as individuals which I hope I can create or not encourage. Which is one of the reasons I am not a fan of matching clothes because I do want them to be their own person.
  • I've also learned that people say the dumbest things and they do not think before they speak when it comes to special situations such as the world of twins. Unfortunately I am not a sensitive person and I will probably respond with not appropriate things but their comments aren't appropriate in the first place so I don't really feel bad.

    As far as comments during my pregnancy, most all have been rather positive. I get the initial "Whoa! When are you due??" Then when I state I'm carrying two I immediately get "Wow! You look great for twins!"
  • full panel maternity pants are in fact NOT full panel on a doubly pregnant belly. Clothes that 'fit' are getting few and far between. But I refuse to go shopping again this late in the game (36 weeks).
  • people are telling me "good job" for  "keeping them in this long".... I'm not doing anything. My body is just a host to two other humans, and as we learned with Isaac, it apparently likes having babies inside it or babies like it in there. My uterus must be extra friendly. Actually I have to take some of that back, I have been doing something. I worked really hard to cram lots of protein in when I learned that helps (about week 20). But my driving factor for that was our NYC trip, I REALLY wanted to go and I wanted to be healthy and in good shape to travel. That is really the only 'thing' I can think I've done differently or paid attention to.
  • Getting towards the end I have realized, whether my body has one baby or two, I am going to get broken. Broken down by the wait, by the people asking "so have they set a date?", and this time (which I didn't have with Isaac) the physical discomfort and pain.

    I don't want to get induced, I want these babies to come when they are ready. I am so thankful to have found a midwife practice that accepts twin mama's. My midwife consulted with the OB my last check up and came back to state "She is good with our plan (not planning an induction at this time) but asked 'Why doesn't she want to get induced? Isn't she uncomfortable?' I told her 'she [me] is just wanting as little interventions as possible' " The midwives understand, which is why I am seeing them. Becoming a mother isn't about being comfortable, there are SO many discomforts about being a parent and it's through those discomforts where we learn and create beautiful wonderful children. I had a friend tell me something I have held on to very tightly these days "You just create patient children". I look at Isaac and see how he is so amazing, precious, and patient hearted and can't help but think God is going to repay me for this agony of waiting again... just two-fold this time. Right?
  • Again, whether one baby or two... when a woman is near her due date or past... here are some things NOT to say to her (and my smart off comments listed below - that I did refrain from stating)
    • "Are the babies getting closer???"
      • I dunno are they? They aren't getting farther away.
    • "Any signs of labor?"
      • About 9 months worth
    • "When are the babies coming?"
      • Why don't you ask them yourself because I sure as *(#^ don't know
    • "You haven't had those babies yet?!?"
      • Does it look like it?
    • "You're still pregnant?" 
      • I guess I am, yes. 
  • Things okay to say: 
    • "Been thinking of you lately"
    • "How are you feeling?" 

Now that everything is said and done it was quite the adventure. Not exactly what I thought my second pregnancy would be like but oh how it was special. In the end I did go in for an induction but at that point it was what I was being called to do. We went in at 39w5d and they still waited to be born on their 40 week due date exactly. They knew their timing and it was perfect. 

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